sorry for not updating constantly people. before i start on this post (which i've alrdy did), let me just warn you that this might be a long photo-less post, it's full of my thoughts i've gathered these few weeks. so, if you're willing to read what i've got to say, stay on this page. if not, come back some other time and i'll be updating with nice pictures, pinkie promise.
oh and these things i'm gonna write have no connection at all. there's no proper structure in this post to, just thought you should know.
#1: i meant nothing most of the time.
i did not ask to be left behind and starts being the loner in the gang on family days. when it comes to my relatives (my dad's side. don't get me wrong, i love them, i really do), i'm all left alone, no one spares a thought to what i think. my grandfather couldn't even recognise me for god's sake. once, he mistook me for my brother's girlfriend. and mind you, i go visit him and my grandmother every fucking family day. they don't even ask about me, it's all my brother blah blah blah. my existence meant nothing to anyone. i don't even understand why i'm here. it all rotates around my brother lol. even if he's not with us on family days, oh boy, no one asks about me anyway haha. wtf is all these.
#2: i have a fucking bad temper
i guess only cindy, shuling and candy knows how it was like when i was angry. but they haven't seen my worst side. especially when i quarreled with my family. i go into cold war with my dad/mom/brother for the longest time. i guess i inherited the temper from my dad. trust me, i am scary when i'm angry. i could smash glass bottles near me, throw everything on the floor/against the door, leave the house in the middle of the night.
#3: most of the time, i hate my mom
i know, you all must be thinking, "wtf is wrong with this girl?! her mom suffered so much to bring her to this world and now she hates her?!" yes, i hate her. i hate her for not being able to be like other moms. even when she's home, she doesn't bother cooking meals. she goes do the things that we all hated. she hangs around with her father that taught her all those fucking bad habits all the time. she blames us for being angry at her when it's her fault at first. she lies that she didn't do anything wrong when we all know the truth. wtf mom, if you brought my brother and i into this world, have the decency to be our fucking role model. or at least be a better person and not try to tear this family down.
#4: i'm a coward when it comes to dressing up
i love to shop, most girls do anyway. but then, i don't normally wear the new clothes i bought. why? i don't want to draw attention, i hate how the people look at me when i went out. but i'm really trying to change it, sigh.
kkkkk this post is like full of anger. most probably something happened in my family again. well life sucks, but.......................there's nothing we can do, no? if you feel that i'm a pathetic loser/spoilt brat that wrote this post to complain, feel free to stop reading my blog.
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